You *thought* you trained them well...

Being sick tends to greatly exaggerate people's traits and tendencies. Typically an impatient person does not develop the patience of Mother Theresa when they're running a fever but rather they want a cold, wet cloth for their forehead NOW. If you're juggling their drink, the TV remote, a crossword puzzle and their meds and just happen spill a solitary drop of tea on the nightstand you're likely to hear quite a bit of ha-rumphing or exasperated sighs. The clumsy sickie often pukes on the floor, stubs their toe and knocks over chairs on their way to their porcelain throne and forgets to close the bathroom door when Mother Nature leaves them spouting like Old Faithful every fifteen minutes. The messie leaves a trail of tissues everywhere and will have you wiping up Gatorade they've splattered all over the counter. If Mother Nature happened to touch this poor soul too then you're likely to find skid marks on the back of the toilet seat when you follow them with a can of Lysol... if you're lucky you won't find a crumpled piece of stained toilet paper kicking around next to the can but let's face it, how often are we mom's ever really THAT lucky?

Over the past two weeks my kiddos came down with, of all things, the dreaded flu. Now, up to this point, I thought I'd done a decent job of teaching my children to mind their manners. Granted, they do interrupt me fairly frequently when I'm chatting with another adult, they're prone to childing bickering and if you know them at all I'm sure that you could rattle off a list of their other childish, impetuous ways. On the whole though, they say their pleases and thank yous. Pipe in with an "excuse-me" here and there. Cough into their elbow... grab a tissue for a sneeze. I think you can see where I'm going with this.

Any illusion that I'd had of having taught my children proper etiquette has been shattered. Yeah, they went flying out the window at 2 am when my daughter was *screaming* "MOMMMMMMAAAAAY!!!" at the top of her lungs. Of course I thought she was vomiting or had fallen out of bed on her way to the bathroom or something. Nope. When I got to her my heart was racing, I was light-headed from jumping out of bed so fast, out of breath from hurtling myself down the stairs at warp factor 7 and was groping around to find her since 1--I didn't have my glasses on and 2--it was darker than a pimp's heart. "What is it honey? Are you ok? Mommy's here..." And as I reached out in compassion, trying to console my obviously distressed daughter she liftede her head from the pillow and demanded with a certifiable screech in her voice, "Get me a drink, NOW!!!!!" Sadly, this was only the beginning. That girl is the crabbiest, nastiest, most demanding sick person I've ever dealt with. Nothing was addressed calmly, everything was needed urgently and all demands were made VERY LOUDLY. Yeah... that didn't fly too well. She soon learned that she could refill her own cup with water if she was going to yell at me. But rather than ask calmly she marched her independent little butt to the sink time after time. Great, now that I've said that, this is stuck in my head:



Then we have sick child #2. This one was very polite, very docile and actually fairly cheery. She just coughed in your face and sneezed all over you. I think that one of the things she did repeatedly that I was particularly fond of was when I'd hold the thermometer in her mouth she would cough all over my hand. EVERY SINGLE TIME. She would be absolutely fine, no cough, perfectly calm and as soon as that thermometer hit her lips she turned into a fire-breathing dragon; her hot breath would make my fingertips curl back against the tip of the thermometer, inching away from her mouth. Her chest would start to rise in preparation for the heaving coughs that would soon send her into fits of coughing and spewing abundant showers of micro-sputum up my arm, across my chest and even in my face. Ooh, ooh--another thing she kept doing was walking up to you and just letting those queer little pre-vomit burps out. You know what I'm talking about, oh yes. Those little froggy, demon seed burps that you try to swallow down just moments before the big hurl. Yeah, she didn't try to swallow those. No keepin' those suckers down. But she never puked. And it seemed like she derived some sick little bit of amusement from watching your reaction. The more reviled you were by the belch the more satisfied she was.

I could go on but I think you get the picture. I won't exactly be sending them to Mo'Nique's Charm School (GAH!) but I guess we're starting back at square one. And I've made a mental note to keep kleenex in every single room of the house. We just stocked back up on lysol so I hope we're set for the next big disaster to rock my humble abode.

Huggies Deal

The week of 3/21 Rite Aid is going to have a pretty smokin' deal on Huggies:

$8.99 for a jumbo pack of Huggies with a $1 SCR (one SCR per household)

Head over to coupons.com or couponbug.com RIGHT AWAY and print out the $3 Huggies coupon; you can do this twice. Hopefully you still have another coupon for Huggies kickin' around, if you can't get another $3 coupon, you can find one for $2.00 pretty easily (just ask if you *really* need my help with this).

On Rite Aid's adperks site you can watch videos to earn coupons: you'll want to score the $2/1 Huggies coupon.

Watch enough credits to earn yourself a $5/$20 purchase or $5/$25 purchase coupon.

When you print your coupons MAKE SURE that you elect to print at least 3 copies of the coupon. Once you print that coupon sheet those coupons disappear down a black hole of "You already saved once, sucka!" I repeat, when you print your Rite Aid Huggies coupons, print at least 3 copies.

Here's how your purchase is going to play out (the order you give your coupons in does matter):

Purchase 3 packages of Huggies @ $8.99 Subtotal: $26.97
Use $5/$20 Rite Aid coupon next. Subtotal: $21.97
Use (3) $2/1 ad perks Huggies coupons. Subtotal: $15.97
Use (3) $3/1 Huggies internet printable coupons. Subtotal $6.97
Submit for $1 Rite Aid SCR (Single Check Rebate) Final Total: $5.97
Divided by 3, you paid $1.99/pack

Pat yourself of the back and revel in the savings.

My kids are so awesome--they'd totally do this!

All grown up

Yes, it's crazy late--but here's my Littlest Girl--and she's all grown up! She's a thriving two year old and while we couldn't be more proud of our little girl, I don't think the DH or I can believe that it's already been two years since she made her way into our lives!

And a big thanks to Patty Young of ModKidBoutique whose little Frida dress pattern was a breeze to sew. Little One loves to model for me and "SMILE" for the camera!

I think I just...

Today I was rubbing my nose. A few minutes later I licked my lips. I think I ate a booger. It was gross.

I've seen the signs of summer... and I'm afraid.

I find that all the crazies come out in the summer. When you've been cooped up in the house all winter and spring starts to peek through the snow banks people in NY start traipsing around in flip flips, shorts and tank tops if the temperatures sneak up to the high 40's. If it should soar into the 50's in March, as it did here last weekend, you may catch a glimpse of a young blond teenie-bopper traipsing out of the tanning salon in her cut off shorts and bikini top and hot pink hair tie beckoning summer to come a little quicker. Let me be quick to reassure you that I was not the teenie-bopper, I am fully aware that hot pink is not my friend and I certainly wasn't sporting a bikini!
The warmer weather also brings out all of the "observers". These are the kind folk that like to sit in the rocker on their porch and check out all the goings on in around their home. They are expert members of the Neighborhood Watch program. They have all of the emergency numbers, Town Hall and the local dog catcher on speed dial and their cordless phone sits right next to a tall glass of lemonade on a cute little wrought iron end table, conveniently close to their rocking chair. They may sit alone, or with their lifelong partner. Perhaps a sweet grandchild plays with sidewalk chalk out in front of their home. Occasionally they'll call out a greeting to a passerby, holler for the kids racing down the hill on their bicycles to "take it easy" or walk off the porch to offer a neighbor a helping hand with that fiddly lawn mower.
Then you have your "porch monkeys". These are the rednecks or the social misfits that hang out on their porch for lack of anything better to do. They'll sit out on the porch smokin' a pack of joes, yelling conversations back and forth to whoever chose to stay inside. They typically aren't alone. Their mode of operation usually includes bringing enough company to overrun the supply of seating on the porch. People will sit on the rails, stand on the porch steps or, if it's really a party, a few members of the overrun crowd will have to hang out in a beat up truck, loudly idling in the street. They'll laugh raucously, talk about whose kid "ran and smacked hisself on the coffee table and busted his head wide open" with an unsettling amount of indifference or ask "who's got a bud?"
If you're lucky, you might have the garden variety of porch monkeys in your neighborhood. These aren't really rednecks as much as they're just underprivileged people. They're mostly harmless. These are the people you see walking downtown with a shopping cart. On a good day, their cart is loaded full of cans and bottles on their way to the redemption center. On a bad day their cart is full of dirty laundry. On an okay day, that cart full of laundry has a jug of detergent balanced on the top. These are the sorts of porch monkeys I interact with most frequently. My favorite neighborhood porch monkeys have a rich brother in law that owns not one, not two, but THREE huffy bicycles. He brings his own alcohol: two cans of Budweiser in a plastic grocery bag that dangles off the handle of his bicycle. They also have family members who are "well off enough" that they not only own a vehicle, but it's registered. And it has gas in the tank. I could go on and on. And on. And on. But I think you get the picture.
I have seen the porch monkeys out in frightening numbers this spring. I am actually afraid of all that this summer has to offer.

Cheap Lotto!

So the other day my Little One was standing on the toilet watching me brush my hair and amusing herself when all of a sudden she decided to investigate the shiny silver lever on the side of the toilet tank. It wiggled, it jiggled, it was great fun! Before long she figured out how to flush the toilet and as soon as she heard the whooshing of the water she threw both hands high up in the air and shouted, "Yay! Hailey Won!!"

Hey, cheaper than airfare tickets to the slots in Vegas!

Spring is coming!

Well, it's only been a week--that's progress for me! DD2 was home from school for 4 days this week--well, really only 3 and 3/4 days because she went to school on Wednesday and came home pretty early in the morning feeling ill. It was a long week, but a good one as it started out great with a night out; a good friend and I went to the mall for a little window shopping, I got my hair done and we grabbed a bite at my favorite mall eatery: Auntie Anne's! Tuesday night kept the mood going strong with another night out for me--this one was a quiet night of quilting with friends. I'm learning to piece blocks together with a few great gals and getting to know more about them and their families in the process. It was SO relaxing and great fun. The rest of the week has gone by in a bit of a blur, but I know that it did include a family movie night complete with take-out.
To top it all off, Saturday was a great day. Sunny and warm (and when I say warm I mean NY warm: a balmy 49 degrees) were on the menu and I think we all had a generous helping. I'd like to you and say that we even went on a picnic but it was more like we sat in the van and ate so that we could enjoy the sunshine without getting a chill from the breeze.
And now, I'm off to Rite-Aid to pick up some sort of drugs to intervene in my toddler's troubling case of constipation. Lord knows that child eats enough prunes but she's blocked up somewhere and I'll spare you the details but we're all suffering from her bowel distress. :)

Trying to get back into the pool.

I can say without hesitation that this year has been so hard for me to find the time to sit down at the computer and blog. Life has been going by at a whirlwind pace and I feel like I've just been letting myself get carried away with little distractions here and there.

For a while I've felt that I couldn't sit down and blog without offering up an explanation for my absence... so I procrastinated in sitting down to write up my excuse. The simple reason for my delay was that there really wasn't any excuse--I've just been out of sorts. So now, without any pretense, I'll offer to you--my few and humble readers--my apologies for being so absent. I've taken the first step on the road to recovery, I've dipped my toes in the pool to test the temperature and I hope to back and blogging on a much more regular basis from now on.

Cheers to you all!

Yum-O!

Last night we had a fantastic dinner: a yummy roast seasoned with garlic and rosemary along with a big crock of roasted veggies--carrots, celery, potatoes and onions. And of course homemade gravy--the kind you make from all of the pan dripping and then throw in a good dose veggies all mashed up. It was good. I'm thinking it'll be a great lunch in oh, say... 10 minutes or so.